CHRONICLES OF THE PALM WINE SHOP. EPISODE TWO: OGA JEGA JAGA

Broda Jona, you see the kain nonsense wey Oga Jega-Jaga do yesterday?

Oh boy, I just tire for the mata, Na common election we no fit do for dis country.

For Obodo Oyibo, nobody self they know say dem dey do election, Na only awa own must different

After all the money wey govament give the man, dem just carry the money chop. Madam Josephine, abeg come give us more pami, this country mata don tire man pikin   

Broda Jona, you never pay for the last cup o. I no dey sell credit for you again

Dis woman sef, when men dey talk serious mata like politicks, you no suppose cum spoil am wit ya bad mouth. No be me and your husband dey follow drink, abi u go charge only me wen na your Oga dey orda the drink?

Lie Lie, I no go gree for that one o. Me and my husband go settle awa sef. You go pay for every single cup wey you drink here. I don talk my own.

Oya Josephine, turn the pami inside im cup, Broda Jona go give you ya money, im just they follow you play.

You see, dis Oga Jega-Jaga  no just dey try at all at all. Im tell us say election go hold on Friday say shakin no dey. E kon let everybody enter sun dey wait before im talk say make we go house say dem don pospone am.

Abegi, make una leave Oga Jega-Jaga, no be the kain politicians wey we get for dis country make am use last minute transport the election material. No b just one year ago dem give am the money wey pipo dey expect magic so? If the election material come quick quick before the election, all dis useless politician go send agbero to tif am. So e gey why e be like dis. Remember say, God propose, man dispose, abi. Make we suffrey abuse the man abeg.

Madam Josephine, abeg shut up. Which kain pashia talk you don bring come dis side. Who put your dirty mouth inside dis mata sef?    

Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh, no just cuss me for my shop. You hear me so, Broda Jona. Abi God wan punish you?

Chei dis woman don touch the head of sapent. (Stands Up). You don find my trouble today. See this ashawo woman, you tink say we no no say Oga Jega-Jaga and ya husband dey share your yansh. You don use ikebe scatter the man head. Im don crase spoil election.

Lebele, and you dey here. Lebele, see wetin your friend dey talk en (Sobs)

Mr Man, God punish you. You dey crase. In short e no go beta for you. Why you go abuse my wife for my korokoro?

Mumu man, your wife dey give everybody your food chop, you stand for dere dey tuk. All man no say your pikin no resemble you.

Your Papa (throws punch, misses. Fight erupts. Glass breaks.)...

To Be Continued...

©2011 Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua

NB: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental