NYSC and the Killing of the Innocent

Murdered Corp Member

Madness is the only word I can use to describe the orgy of violence that erupted in some parts of Northern Nigeria following the release of Presidential election results last week.  Irate youths chanting “Sai Buhari” took laws into their hands leaving several people killed and burning properties including churches. Major victims of these attacks have been Youth Corpers, Christians and PDP supporters in these states. These senseless killings began in Gombe on Monday, a day after the elections and spread to other states including Bauchi, Kano and Kaduna. Questions about whether these attacks have been “spontaneous” have been raised.

The Congress of Progressive Change (CPC) issued a statement denying complicity in the violence. They simply washed their hands off the situation. The CPC Presidential candidate had these to say:  "It was so spontaneous that I didn't know about it. I did not ask them to start it, but I asked them to stop, especially the burning of churches and other religious places." He claims that people just “reacted to results” and said he did not know what triggered the violence.

So if it wasn’t the CPC supporters, then who was behind it? Who was angry enough about results that hadn’t officially been released? And who thought the victory of Jonathan was such a taboo as to foment the indiscriminate shedding blood? And what does Buhari mean by “responded to results”. My take is that there was nothing spontaneous about these crimes. People were instigated to kill! A Southern Presidency with Jonathan at the helm irked some people so much that they had to spill innocent blood. This was a premeditated act of evil. This was about power and nothing more.

Almajiri Youths

An independent study by The Council for Foreign Relations (CFR) on Electoral Violence in Nigeria had this to say in September of 2010: “…With the considerable resources available to him as an incumbent president and his Ijaw constituents in the Delta region pressuring him to stay in office, Jonathan has the means and the motive to seek a full term as president. If he chooses this course, powerful northern politicians may abandon the PDP’s elite consensus and challenge his candidacy. The stage would be set for a divisive and potentially violent electoral season featuring unprecedented public involvement. Even in the unlikely event that the elections are broadly credible, some losing candidates will almost certainly have sufficient grounds to convince their supporters that victory has been stolen, especially if the winner has a different ethnic or religious identity”.

If this report is anything to go by, anybody saying these killings were spontaneous is only being smart by half. There was a chance this might happen if the person who won the poll was a Christian Southerner! Jonathan who is referred to as “kafir” up north is also seen as a usurper and anything related to him or his victory was attacked. The Sultan of Sokoto, Alhaji Sa’ad Abubarka III was not spared. The angry youths burnt down his house because he was seen to be sympathetic to Jonathan when he advised voters not to vote along ethnic or religious lines.

Buhari and the CPC have claimed that 40 per cent of their votes were deducted when the figures were inputted into the INEC Excel sheets. Buhari scored 12,214,853 votes across the country and came second in the overall results. But if you mark his votes up by 40 percent across the 36 states of the federation and the FCT, it would come to 20,238,088 which is lower than Jonathan’s 22,495,187 votes. He would still have lost. So what is the killing for?

Buhari who was accused of basing his campaign around ethnic and religious sentiment put lives in danger in the event that he lost the election to Christian or Southerner. His campaign team did not even cross the Middle Belt region to solicit votes in the South East and South-South. How could he have won an election when the North he clinched his hopes on was divided? There were only four states (Kano, Bauchi, Yobe, and Borno) than Jonathan didn’t get 25 percent of the votes which means  that Jonathan had a good number of votes from Northern states as well. 

As the killing spree went on, the mob went about attacking everything that they considered affiliated to GoodLuck Jonathan’s victory. They went after NYSC members. They concluded in their narrow minded thinking that because NYSC members were used as INEC ADHOC staff then they must have been used to rig Jonathan into powers. They didn’t have to look very far; their sponsors told them where to find the Corpers. They went to Azare, Giade and Itas Gadau, specifically to the Corper lodges in Bauchi states with one mission on their mind-murder. One of the ill fated Corpers was Obinna Okpiri.

Late Obinna Okpiri

Obinna Okpkiri, a 27 year old Estate Management graduate serving in Bauchi met with the cold hands of death as the blood thirst mob  cut him to pieces. They didn’t care whether he went to school or for how long. They didn’t care about the amount of investment his parents had  in him or what he had to offer his country. All they cared was for power to return to the North. All that mattered was “Sai Buhari”. Obinna was just in the way and they killed him and twenty four others. I did not know Obinna, but I have talked to people who knew him personally. He was the deputy governor in Anglican Hostel in Wailo orientation camp. He was said to be gentle and intelligent. He didn’t deserve this…

SHOULD NYSC BE SCRAPPED?

NYSC members have found themselves in the line of fire recently. The elections have put them in the cross hair of “civil unrest”. The issue on whether the scheme should be scraped has been on the front burner for some time now. Youth Corp members have become soft targets for people with anti-establishment and nihilistic mindsets.

The scheme was founded in 1973 by the Gowon administration and at inception had laudable intentions. It was meant to integrate Nigerians together after the Civil War. A man from the South West who had his tertiary education in the South East would be sent to a Northern state like Kano or Kaduna where he would learn and appreciate the diversities in the culture and languages of Nigeria.    The host community would usually be happy to receive him and make him feel comfortable. But now, taking up assignment in some states in Nigeria especially the northern part is a huge risk to life. Parents take huge risks allowing their wards enlist into the program because he (she) may not see their child again. And that’s the sad reality of the situation.

The scheme like every other Nigerian parastatal has become drenched in corruption. NYSC has been reduced to a means of getting cheap labor by the Government.   The intentions of the founding fathers have been lost. The scheme favors the northern states more and paradoxically, this is where corp members face the highest threats to their lives.

NYSC is no more about the service but just the discharge certificate. Serving members cannot just wait to get out. The Government has organized the scheme in such a way that the discharge certificate has become a prerequisite for getting any meaningful employment. Corp members undergo untold hardships in the states where they are posted to. But for the Christian Fellowships that provide temporary housing for these Corp members, many are left without shelter. The recent outcry over the failure of the scheme has been about the deaths of serving members but even the day to day hardships faced by this youths is enough to scrap it.

After the Suleja Bomb blast, the Director-General of the National Youth Service Corps, Brig-Gen. Maharazu Tsiga came out boldly to say no Corp member died when  reports were to the contrary. After the sad event in Bauchi, the NYSC official report put the death toll at 4 when several others had been slaughtered. What is the lying for?

It is unfortunate that this country does not place value on the lives of its citizens. And this insensitivity has led to the loss of more lives.  Take the Independence Day Bombing for instance, the victims of the mayhem were carried to the National Hospital Abuja for treatment and the Nigerian Government was happy to announce to whoever cared to listen that it would cover the hospital bills! Can you imagine that? I work in the health sector, and what am about to say may surprise you. The bills were paid quite alright but the Government paid it for just one week. But at least, our wonderful Government kept its promise.

You are probably aware about the 9/11 terrorist attacks on New York City. But what you don’t know is that the US Government paid out 1.1 million dollars EACH (USD) to the families of the victims irrespective of what country they are from. That is a country that takes lives seriously. That is a country that is sorry about putting citizens in harm’s way. British Petroleum (BP), the company responsible for the oil spill that gutted the gulf has paid out over 4 billion dollars in compensation to farmers and families affected by the disaster. And the Nigerian Government tells us on National Television that they will take care of the bills with smiling faces.

It is an open secret that the “big man's pikin” does not serve in NYSC. The man in government will influence in child’s posting to Abuja, Lagos or Port Harcourt. NYSC posting are for sale for as little as 10,000 naira. It is the poor man’s child that can neither influence or “sort” his way through that gets sent to Zamfara, Bauchi, Gombe or Borno where he can be hacked to death.

When I was in the orientation camp, the daughter of the one of the presidential aspirant (before he dropped his ambition) came to the camp only to sign the “Book of Life” (a register used to collate names of Corp members in the State in question.) The NYSC officials tool the book to meet her in the armored jeep while the rest of us waited in the sun for our turn. I have nothing wrong with showing honor to the “elite” of the society but the lady should have at least come down from the vehicle. That was the only day she came to a camp that was meant to be for three weeks. She will definitely not be sent to a “war zone”. She will probably get her discharge certificate by FedEx in the United States while her fellow comrades die in Bauchi.

So do I think the scheme should be scrapped? No is my answer. I don’t think it should be scrapped out-rightly. The Corp members offer services in communities where help will otherwise never come. Some places in the Eastern part of the country have only Corper Doctors, pharmacist and nurses running the hospitals. And we all have grandparents and other relatives that go to these hospitals. NYSC members have also contributed tremendously to the education sector to fill the gap of inadequate manpower encountered in primary and secondary schools.

I believe that the scheme should take a break for a year or two and reform itself. There needs to be a reassessment of values the scheme once held. The intention of the program has failed woefully and needs to be revamped. By revamp, I mean that the scheme should be made voluntary. If you want to serve your country, you do so. A discharge certificate should not be used to force you.

However for those who want to enlist in the scheme, they should be paid handsomely for their services. Paying a Corper 150,000 naira a month is not too much to ask. That would certainly inspire any youth to take up employment anywhere in the country. In addition, adequate security must be provided. The death of any Corper whether by natural or “man made” means must be seen as a National tragedy. If a Corper is killed for any reason, the states in question will have no Corp member deployed to them for a year while those already deployed will be withdrawn. That way, the organization would be taken seriously. Governor Babatunde Fashola of Lagos state has shown exemplary leadership by sending a plane to carry Corp members who are distressed from Bauchi State. Something the DG of NYSC should have done ages ago.  

PATTERNS OF VIOLENCE AND POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS

Conflicts are an integral part of human society and Nigeria has had her fair share of them. From the Civil War in 1966 to the Zangon Kataf conflicts in 1992, conflicts abound in every aspect of everyday life. Major conflicts in Nigeria usually have religious, ethnic or economic undertone.  These three factors are interwoven in such a way that an economic conflict can quickly become a religious one. Politics is also a factor as politicians may use any of the aforementioned factors (economic, ethnic and religious) to serve their selfish motives.

In places like Jos for instance, the conflicts originally began purely as an economic struggle between the so called “indigenes” and “settlers” which strove for resources and political influence in the state. It began to appear to the minorities that they were from a particular ethnic group (Fulani) and also of a different religion (Islam). So it is easy for an outsider to conclude that that the conflict is between Christians and Moslems when in fact it is a much deeper one.

The metamorphosis from economic to ethnic and ultimately to religious is intricately delicate and can easily go from one boiling point to another in a short time especially when the people have lived in a society devoid of trust for a long time.

I believe that the majority of conflicts in Nigeria can be resolved with a working economy. A hungry man is always an angry man. The almajiri problem is a pointer to this. With the prevalent poverty experienced in the Northern part of Nigeria, these “kids” (if I may call them that) are picked up by Islamic clerics who feed and cater for them. Some of these clerics also sow seeds of hate and the potentials for destruction against the state are left to germinate. The almajiri belongs to this cleric or controller because he controls their stomach. Therefore it doesn’t take him anything to obey a benefactor who tells him to kill. It’s the least he can do.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS

EQUAL RIGHTS TO CITIZENS: The mentality that a person is better than another in the same country is only a recipe for disaster. The Second World War was fought because a certain group of Germans (Nazi’s) saw themselves as better than another class of individuals (Jews) and this led to the massacre of over six million Jews. We can’t have a society where there is oppression of any kind whether economic or religious. The Niger Delta Crises and Uprisings in the Middle East are key examples. If a person has stayed in a place for an agreed amount of time, he (she) deserves to exercise the right to buy and own property in that place and even run for elective office.  I hope that one day we will have a Nigeria where an Hausa-Fulani Moslem will be the governor of Lagos and a Christian Igbo man can govern Zamfara state.

EDUCATION: This is the most effective way to solve the almajiri problem in the north. When people are educated they are empowered to make better lives for themselves. The sentiment in the south where people say, “If them no wan go school, make them no go,” will hurt us faster than we think. Legislation has to be made to make education compulsory at primary and secondary school level. There is simply no way around this.

Proper monitoring of what is been taught in the schools must also be done.  Islamic studies should be taught like mathematics and must not be the only thing taught in schools.

People in the southern part of Nigeria are not responsible for the apathy showed by mothers in the north to immunize their children but the continual existence of the Polio Virus (WPV) puts our own children in danger. A state legislation mandating Immunization may become necessary and stiff penalties should be set for defaulters. These mothers must be educated to understand the importance of immunization.

I also believe that the Government must not be involved in any state sponsored religious activity like travelling to Jerusalem or going for the Hajj. It should be a strictly personal affair.

JUSTICE: There can never be peace without justice. The blood of the innocent must be avenged. Nothing stops a man that has killed in cold blood from doing so again if he is not punished. Impunity creates impetus for more crime. The police have failed miserably in this regard. When suspects are caught, after some time, nothing is heard about the cases anymore. In Jos for instance, the murderers of women and children got as low as 5 year jail time. That judgment is disgusting. The Law must serve as a deterrent. I want to see a law where anyone who commits a crime like this should be given the capital punishment. His death must be broadcasted on National Television and radio. There are far too many sentiments whipped and politicking over every issue in this country. Government officials shield criminals and go unpunished. The Boko Haram sect leader, Yusuf Mohamed was killed extra judicially and today, nobody is saying anything.

A while ago, arms were smuggled into the country from Iran; the Iranians involved were granted bail. Nigeria maintains its diplomatic stance with Iran and is considering going into talks on nuclear power with the Iranian government!  What kind of country is this?

CONCLUSION:

This country has gone through a lot and the fabric that holds us as one is being tested on a daily basis. The enemies of progress want to destroy us  but I believe we pull through. We must resolve that the death of Obinna and other Corpers must mean something. The perpetrators of this act must be brought to book.

  

© Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua

TRIBUTE

This article is dedicated to the Corpers that lost their lives in the needless bloodshed that occurred across some parts of the country. To Obinna and Co, may your souls rest in peace. (Amen)

ELECTION 2011: NEW PRESIDENT AND THE IMPLICATION FOR NIGERIA

The Nigerian spirit was once again tested on Saturday as  citizens from all works of life came to a cross road in deciding the next set of leaders to move the country forward. The Presidential election considered the most important in the series will produce the man who would steer the “ship” for the next four years. The winner of this election will also change the dynamics of Nigerian history in tremendous ways. The front line Candidates: President Goodluck Jonathan (PDP), Rtd. Gen Mohamadu Buhari (CPC), Alhaji Ibrahim Shekarau (ANPP), and Malam Nuhu Ribadu (ACN) after tedious campaigns around the country have all placed their fates in the hands of the ordinary man.

Voting began at 12:00pm in most part of the country and saw multitudes troop to various polling units scattered across the nation. The emerging results have reduced the contest into a two horse race between and the PDP and the CPC with the PDP looking the more likely to clinch the winner. From announced results, it is quite apparent that the ANPP and ACN cannot win this election. The reasons are obvious. The ACN candidate, Malam Nuhu Ribadu is a new comer into political circles and was considered a “weak” candidate by many observers. He was more of a candidate of convenience presented by his party and his candidature did not muster any real challenge.  The ANPP which was a major opposition party in the 1999 and 2003 presidential election has dwindled in influence primarily due to its unholy alliance with the PDP in the Yar’Adua lead Government of National Unity. Other than its influence in Kano, and Zamfara states, ANPP is almost  finished as a party. Although Ibrahim Shekarau may have shined in the NN24 organized presidential debate, the light did not culminate into votes for him or his party.

 I have earlier discussed the implications of a Buhari presidency in a  write up  titled BUHARI-BAKARE: STRANGE BED FELLOWS OR AN ACT OF GOD? I would focus now on the man Jonathan (Atiku Vs Jonathan), reasons he would  likely win this election and the implications of his presidency.

GOODLUCK EBELE AZIKIWE JONATHAN

THE GOD FACTOR

It is an undeniable fact that it was providence that thrust President Jonathan into stardom. It seemed like it was by the very “finger of God” that he was anointed President after the death President Musa Yar’Adua. A man who in 2003 was only a deputy governor of Bayelsa state. A man whose name made the news only because his principal was caught with his hands in the “cookie jar” (A very large cookie jar). He was later handpicked by Olusegun Obasanjo to serve as running mate to Late Yar’adua not for his élan, eloquence or, erudition but because he would appease the restive South-South youths. Jonathan who was sidelined by the infamous “cabal” within the Yar’Adua government and called names suddenly emerged to the highest position in the land following a Doctrine of Necessity enforced by the National Assembly. This is a true Cinderella story and music to the ears of Nigerians who see the Almighty in everything. In a country where religion plays a major role in the way people live their lives and relate to one another; nobody wants be seen to be fighting against God.

THE NAME “GOODLUCK”

President Jonathan should thank is parents’ everyday for this name. How anyone thinks they can win against a name like “GoodLuck” is puzzling? The name is catchy, and spellbinding. The name GoodLuck was a complete nightmare for other political parties as they could not even wish their supporters “goodluck” after their political rallies. If I remember correctly, the ACN mistakenly said goodluck once to bid their supporters farewell and later corrected themselves to the less effective “good day” when it was about 6:00pm.

ROBUST CAMPAIGN

Whether or not you accuse President Jonathan of using state resources to fund his campaign; you cannot deny the ingenuity and far reaching effects of his campaign team. GoodLuck Jonathan was all over the place. He bought over the advertisement industry. He was on TV, on radio, on every Nigerian internet site including social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. He carved a niche into the skin of every Nigerian. His Neighbor to Neighbor initiative took the other parties to the cleaners. I was coming out from church some time ago and a boy not more than twelve years of age came to me and tried to convince me to vote Goodluck. I was impressed. At that time, my vote was certainly not going the way of PDP but that little boy plunged a hole at my resolve.  I began to think, this Jonathan guy is so serious he even sent kids. Secondly, the entrance of Jonathan into the scene enlivened the Presidential race. It sure would have been utterly lackluster if it were Atiku vs. Buhari vs. Shekarau. Am quite sure the large turnout of voters could as well be credited to Jonathan’s candidacy.

HE OWES NO MAN NOTHING

Jonathan has no legitimate “god father” who can lay claim to giving “birth” to him. Although, he may have surrounded himself with the likes of Olusegun Obasanjo, Theophilus Danjuma  and Tony Anennih, to stabilize his hold on the presidency in the beginning of his administration, many see him as his own man. Nigerians who have been used to a certain clique of friends (and enemies) controlling majority of our resources by allocating oil blocks to themselves leaving hapless Nigerians to suffer in penury are refreshed by the fact that a new breed of politician in the image of Jonathan is on the scene.

The mere fact that Jonathan could have gone the way of Obasanjo by appointing a “customized” Jega that would be loyal to him the way Iwu was to Baba but didn’t is commendable. Prof Iwu was busy announcing results of governorship elections he had no business doing while votes were still being counted. The man should look for a place to bury his head in shame. GEJ chose to implement the electoral reforms he promised and appointed an impartial umpire when he knew he was going to run. This is like unlike any other leader Nigeria has seen.

IMPLICATIONS OF A JONATHAN PRESIDENCY

 NORTH- SOUTH DEBACLE

A Jonathan presidency will potentially put paid to zoning for ever. Nigeria has been torn apart several times by ethnic sentiments whipped by politicians. Jonathan, an Ijaw man from the South- South has caused a disruption in the zoning formula. If he wins, it would mean that any Nigerian irrespective of tribe or religion can become president. And that to me is the beauty of democracy.

OBSEQUIES OF “DEAD POLITICANS”

The so called oligarchies in the North (the Ciroma group, Atiku, Gasau, IBB) have lost whatever political clout they thought they mustered. It would be clear that Nigeria is for Nigerians and it is practically IMPOSSIBLE to become a president by seeking votes from any particular region. The candidate must appeal to all Nigerians and not only from the northern part.

Jonathan’s victory can also mean that the Obasanjo days of overwhelming influence may well be over. I do not believe President Jonathan would kick OBJ out of his kitchen cabinet but it has become obvious that the “power” OBJ has over Jonathan will dissipate. Baba, who could not return his Daughter Iyabo as Senator of the Federal Republic cannot claim to have any real loyalist anymore. OBJ is now like the Biblical Ahithophel whose counsel was discounted by Absalom thereby losing his relevance.

JONATHAN’S ALBATROSS

Simple: The PDP, the PDP and the PDP. Most Nigerians believe this party is the synonym for pure evil. One can only be as good as the people that surround you. Some argue that Jonathan is a good man but tainted by his party. But I keep wondering, did President Jonathan just join the PDP? Didn’t he benefit from the “Iwu guaranteed” election victories? Has he suddenly become born again? How he goes along to extricate himself from a party that has been miserably woeful in twelve (12) years would be interesting to watch. It would also be more interesting to see whether people the likes of Anenih, Madueke, Iyabo and Co. find their way into his cabinet time around. My solemn advice is for him to bring in technocrats and stop this recycling of people who simply have nothing to offer.

Again, how he hopes to tackle corruption when his cronies have hands deep in government purse is something close to an impossible task. All most members of his party are interested in is how to “chop and chop”. He may as well start giving out the contracts, appointments.  

CONCLUSION

The collation of the result is still ongoing but as it stands, Jonathan is coasting home to victory. But whoever wins, it is a victory for democracy. Nigeria has successfully conducted four elections without any interruption in the democratic process. This should not be taken for granted for any reason. Fine, the guys in the National Assembly maybe bleeding our economy dry but the Freedom of Information (FOI), Minimum Wage Bill and Local Content Bills have all been passed. The music industry and Nollywood have both blossomed all since the advent of democracy. These may not be seen as much but they are little strides in this Journey. It has taken America 200years to get where they are and it will not take us any less.

©2011 Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua

CHRONICLES OF THE PALM WINE SHOP. EPISODE THREE: OGA JEGA JAGA

(Music playing on a radio set in the palm wine store)

Who steal your bleaching (Foolish)

Your precious bleaching

You buy am for shopping, for 40 naira 

Ah, Oga Jega-Jaga welcome o, e b like say you hapi well well today sotѐ you dey follow sing

Madam Josephine, I just dey hapi o, Shame don catch bad pipu. God don shame all my enemis.   Dem wan put san san for my garri. But God pass them

Thank God o, abeg sidon make I give u beta pami. I prepare dis one especially for you sa

Thank you madam Josephine (tastes palm wine)

Ewѐlѐ! dis one strong well well o

You sure say dis one no go turn my belle?

No sa, na just the way you like am. Dis one go make you stand Gidigba!

Kai, Madam Josephine, I just dey reach here now, cool down first, that discussion na for later

Okay Oga Jega-Jaga. I just dey sensitize you, abi no be so una dey talk am (giggles)

Shey you hear say dem kill some pipu plenty for this election?

Dis politicians too wicked, Na just the thin wey dem go chop dem dey think. Everything Na just for their pocket. Only God fit save us from dem o. Na Bomb dey rain now. So dem go kill even pikin sef to take reach office tiff money. Election for dis side pissfull sha. All of us for dis yard com aside com vote. People no too deceive people. Election free and fair well well. My oga sef, vote o.

Anyway Na dem sabi, we go only try awa best. We no go kill awa sef for dis work. Me sef get wife and pikin.

Which one be your wife and pikin for dis mata now (frowns), abeg tuk beta jare. No just call that woman name for my side again.

You sef, you too dey vex. Come here first make I check weda than thin na how I take leave am. Ewѐlѐ! na still the same size sef, this ya husband na proper Mumu. E no just dey try. By the way, where our friend Lebele sef?

E travel dis morning go visit awa in-law for hospital (Smiling)

(Three Heavily Armed Police Men Enter the Palm Wine Store)

Eh eh, everybody lie down there. You are all under arrest for treason

Wetin apen oga police, wetin we do for you people

You are very stupid for that question, una no here say no movement for election. I say lie down dere. Your fada.

(They both lie down)

My name be Inspector Iwu, and dis two officers be sergeant Tafa and constable Balogun

We here say crime dey apen for here.

Oga no crime for here o. Instead of make una go catch pipu wey dey bomb everywhere na innocent civilian una wan harass. Na pami I dey sell for here and dis man here na my customer.

So na your customer dey hold your waist like this abi. (Holds her firmly). Oya give me two cups of pami now (He fastens hold on her waists and begins to go lower)

Officer, which kain nonsense be all dis one. Abeg leave me jare, Idiot. Shameless man

Oya make all of una drop small thin for the boys make we go. Country no easy at all

 Sergeant Iwu, stop and search all of them.

Hey no touch me dere o. That place resemble money so?  I no go give una any money. Make una go work proper work. No difference between police and tiff again.

Chei, Inspector Iwu, this woman don insult us. Make I fire am?

Oga police, abeg no fire anybody o.  Make una hear me first abeg. We no need all dis palaver. If una no who I be una no go dey do this kain thin walai.

Yes, who are you Mr. Man?

(Standing Up) I am Oga Jega-Jaga, the man of the moment. The man everyone is talking about (Spins round to show off)

Sergeant Tafa, abeg follow dis man with slap.

Kpoa (Sound of heavy blow on face).  Your fada, you dey crase. I say lie down there. I dey find money, you dey spin like peacock. Inspector Tafa, you don check the picture say e correct so?

Yes sir, na the person be dis. Im don talk am with in mouth sef, no need for foda story.  

 Sergeant Tafa, constable Balogun, oya faya ram.

Collect (Gun shot); Collect Again (Another Shot)…

(Inspector Iwu makes a telephone call)

Yes Sir, we don finish the job.  The person wey dey dagbaru all awa election don kpai. Back to business as usual sir. Thank you sa. Yes sa, we go file case of accidental discharge sir. No problem sir.  Yes sa, we go give am her share.

Madam Josephine, na ya share be this, take…

THE END

©2011 Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua

N.B: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental

CHRONICLES OF THE PALM WINE SHOP. EPISODE TWO: OGA JEGA JAGA

Broda Jona, you see the kain nonsense wey Oga Jega-Jaga do yesterday?

Oh boy, I just tire for the mata, Na common election we no fit do for dis country.

For Obodo Oyibo, nobody self they know say dem dey do election, Na only awa own must different

After all the money wey govament give the man, dem just carry the money chop. Madam Josephine, abeg come give us more pami, this country mata don tire man pikin   

Broda Jona, you never pay for the last cup o. I no dey sell credit for you again

Dis woman sef, when men dey talk serious mata like politicks, you no suppose cum spoil am wit ya bad mouth. No be me and your husband dey follow drink, abi u go charge only me wen na your Oga dey orda the drink?

Lie Lie, I no go gree for that one o. Me and my husband go settle awa sef. You go pay for every single cup wey you drink here. I don talk my own.

Oya Josephine, turn the pami inside im cup, Broda Jona go give you ya money, im just they follow you play.

You see, dis Oga Jega-Jaga  no just dey try at all at all. Im tell us say election go hold on Friday say shakin no dey. E kon let everybody enter sun dey wait before im talk say make we go house say dem don pospone am.

Abegi, make una leave Oga Jega-Jaga, no be the kain politicians wey we get for dis country make am use last minute transport the election material. No b just one year ago dem give am the money wey pipo dey expect magic so? If the election material come quick quick before the election, all dis useless politician go send agbero to tif am. So e gey why e be like dis. Remember say, God propose, man dispose, abi. Make we suffrey abuse the man abeg.

Madam Josephine, abeg shut up. Which kain pashia talk you don bring come dis side. Who put your dirty mouth inside dis mata sef?    

Eh-Eh-Eh-Eh, no just cuss me for my shop. You hear me so, Broda Jona. Abi God wan punish you?

Chei dis woman don touch the head of sapent. (Stands Up). You don find my trouble today. See this ashawo woman, you tink say we no no say Oga Jega-Jaga and ya husband dey share your yansh. You don use ikebe scatter the man head. Im don crase spoil election.

Lebele, and you dey here. Lebele, see wetin your friend dey talk en (Sobs)

Mr Man, God punish you. You dey crase. In short e no go beta for you. Why you go abuse my wife for my korokoro?

Mumu man, your wife dey give everybody your food chop, you stand for dere dey tuk. All man no say your pikin no resemble you.

Your Papa (throws punch, misses. Fight erupts. Glass breaks.)...

To Be Continued...

©2011 Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua

NB: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental