CHRONICLES OF A MOTOR PARK: MR DABID MAKUS (PART TWO)

Lagos: The City of Chaotic Order

(Music plays in bus stereo)

Awa govament bad o

Dem no wan give ghetto man jab o

My God o

If ghetto man no get work, my brother how we go take survive

(PHONE RINGS IN BUS)

Driver lowa dis ya music abeg (driver obliges and turns knob a little)

Hello, good afternoon, hello, hello (call terminates)

Dis hempty-n pipu sef, since morning their network no just dey go

(PHONE RINGS AGAIN)

 Hello, Hello. Good moning

Yes, this is Dabid Makus, who is this?

Ha, Mr. Kinleji Vankole, my patna in crime, na you be dis, how body?

How dem madams dem? (chuckles)

Jesus! Who you tuk say die? Who, your wife? How manage?

Oh my God, accident? Oh my God. Sorry o.

When? Where? How manage?

(Complete silence in the bus, driver turns radio off completely)

Eiwoh, for where? Benin-Ore Road? Oh my God

Your pikin nkon…Oh, my God, Dotun die too? Oh my God

Doe, sorry, it is well, God is in control, the Lord knows best, it is well enh

Oh my God!  Dis ember months don start again o. Na God go help all of us. In all things give thanks my broda

So wetin go happen now, what’s the next step, burial? (Facial expression stiffens at response)

Ooo-k-a-yy, money. Like how much?

Kai Oga Kinleji, things no too straight right now

Na very wrong time in the year be dis but I will see what I can do, you hear

You are welcome. Take care. (Conversation ends)

Mschew (shakes head). Wonders shall never cease.

See dis life so. Na true say no condition is permanent.

Una see dis man whey call me so, im broda na big man for Abuja before

Govament give im broda contract of 7 billion for dis same Benin-Ore road.

Dem chop the money, dem pour coal tar abandon the road come chop the money

Dem no even fit talk say, Dabid, take dis small thing hold body

(Cement! conductor screams, owa o, a passenger responds)

EFCC cash dem, govament revoke the contract, now life don change for the man

E wan come borrow money from me.  Nonsense!

Oga you for talk say na because dem no show you face, na im you dey vex

Oh no, not at all, that’s not my point. What about the other pipu wey perish for the accident

I dey vex becos that money wey dem chop cause the accident. That’s na wein dey vex me


Oga as you dey talk no good. When person die, we suppose show compassion now

As those pipu perish for express so, e fit be anybody family member for accident next time. We no even get compassion again.
E show say our own don finish for dis country so? As anybody fit die at anytime.

Na your own finish o, I reject it in Jesus name. I cover my family with the blood of Jesus

Madam I follow you talk? Which one be the one wey you dey reject in Jesus name?

(Laughter in bus)

No be only roads for dis country kpafuka

Everything don spoil. No light, no water, no security.  

We dey get light one hour every day before and now the transformer blow this morning

Ah your own better now, for my area now for Ketu, we never get light for tere months.

Everything wey President Lucky tuk say e go do, e never do one. Not even one. Very tereble

No be all of una dey shat South-South dat year,

Na lie o, me na that Pastor I vote for

Me na the Alhaji I vote for

I had no shoes; I had no shoes, who get shoe wen im small

Me wey trek from Sakponba road for Benin take reach Ekenwan go school and I still carry first.

Oga I know Benin well well o, and na ashawo girls full that place wey you just call, you sure say na school you go so?

(More laughter in bus)

Anyway, no be one day dem take build Rome, abi no be so dem dey talk am

Yes o , my brother you are right. To the point say, pipu don dey sue  govament for court

Una no see Baba Suwe, e don hammer now. 25 million naira, just like that

O boy ye, that man don hammer no be small

Dem tuk say e use jass take hide the cocaine

Kai, Nigerians, how person go hide cocaine for tere weeks! impossicant

E-pa forget that thing sa, na Ijebu man o, their otumopko get as e be.

(Ogun toh bad gan, conductor interjects with a smile

Babalawo gidi loló ba)

(Driver puts radio back on,)

Molowo molowo noni

Mo nawo mo nawo noni ah ah

Baba God noni ah ah

And now I got more money

Noni, I thank God for me

Noni, and they call me Whizzy

Mo dupe lowo Olorun noni

Aye mo wale sugbon mo njaye jeje

I no send no body

Driver abeg stop now. I forget something at Ikeja bus stop. 

Mo le du ro o. lai lai. Iyana-Ipaja le ma bole

Driver stop for the man now, at least LASTMA no dey dis side (a passenger from behind pleads).

(Bus driver stops grudgingly, Dabid Makus and two male passengers from behind alight. Bus continues to Iyana-Ipaja)

Iceprince, lets go, Samklef, what it do, Iceprince

Listen, Noni, Why these girls bleeding on me

Why are they pouring the evil spirits on me

Am still upcoming but am getting money

And next year my star is gonna be sunny

I don’t play the piano but am always on key

Driver abeg stop, I no see my phone again!

My Wallet is gone!

Stop this moto now, person don tif my purse…

To Be Continued…

©2011 Otaigbe Itua Ewoigbokhan

NB: The characters used in this piece are fictional and semblance to real persons is entirely coincidental.

Itualive! ™