TANGO WITH ME: The Hand is Hollywood’s but that Voice.....

   

They say the movie, Tango with Me has been in production since 2009. That information is an oddity and cheering news for an industry that considers haste a virtue, so perhaps the time ‘wasted’ would rid the movie of the flaws that bedevil the industry, the idea being the considerable time spent would leave sufficient time for postproduction where flaws are cut leaving a taut picture for the big screen.

They got that right. Technically, the movie is fine, its beauty amplified by the 35mm camera used; the crew evidently proud of their work take a chunk of time in the opening credits seemingly screaming, there’s division of labour! The director is not the producer is not the DoP is not the scriptwriter! The message is loud and clear, only partly for the audience but mainly for the rest of Nollywood, a visual cri de coeur: this is how it is done; this is how it should be done.

Here’s hoping it would meet open ears.

It is in this department that the film itself soars, apparently because the crew pay obeisance to the almighty 35mm, the picture so crisp there is a conceited need to do several close-ups of the pretty actors on display. The actors themselves are airbrushed to visual perfection- no one strand of hair is out of place even in anguish, even in bed. However, like most apparently flawless objects, the camera draws so much attention to itself that one is tempted to lean in and find cracks. And there are cracks.

Right at the beginning, the use of fading as transition device soon turns abrupt so that the effect is jarring, which rather than emphasise the scenes only suggests an inability to successfully close a scene.

So far, there is no mention of the story in this review and that is because the movie too puts the story on the back burner. Quite simply, the camera is the star, then the airbrushed stars, then the story. But then, what is the story?

Briefly: Despite an electric meet-cute a couple, Lola and Uzor (played by Genevieve Nnaji and a stolid Benjamin Johnson,) manages to be celibate till the wedding night when an act of violence pushes the marriage to the brink causing friends, family and a boss to intrude thus complicating a delicate situation. What do they do? They do a decidedly un-Nigerian thing, they go to a shrink a la Hollywood (though to reinforce the Nigerianness the movie calls him a marriage counsellor) who guides the uneasy couple through the tortuous paths of a troubled marriage. That is all that can be said as it is not possible to discuss the movie without a spoiler, a needless concealment as barely halfway through the film the big secret is revealed.

This is problematic, not just for the reviewer but for the movie itself and then the audience. The former’s problem is obvious; for the movie, the decision is disingenuous, since this kind of suspense is for thrillers not for dramas, so that it fails to be entirely suspenseful once the secret is out and then fails acutely to be a portrayal or keen analysis of a troubled marriage; then the viewer is short-changed as hardly has he settled into the movie when the ‘twist’ hid in all synopses and especially the trailer is revealed and he realizes that the denouement is far away. A case of bad marketing... but if it gets the cinema full, then perhaps it worked?

Perhaps. But it is an aggregation of things like this that undermine the artistic efforts of director Mahmoud Balogun. For an attraction as instant as theirs, it is curious how they avoided the bed before marriage, the lame attempt by Lola to explain it away notwithstanding; other than the need for a pretty face to stand beside Nnaji what exactly qualified Benjamin Johnson for this role? While he may have pulled off co-hosting Project Fame on the tube, the man’s qualities do not carry on the big screen and the chemistry between the leads is near nonexistent- probably why they succeeded at celibacy.

When Mark Zuckerberg was asked about The Social Network, he said, perhaps with a smile, “It’s surprising what they got right...” so too with Tango, where they got Cyril Stober to play himself casting news, though the gory pictures accompanying the news would never make it into the real NTA news bulletin. This is certainly a leaf borrowed from Hollywood’s playbook (alongside its relentless Mtn product placement). The effort to get it right is worthy of applause. But the trouble with levelling fierce praise at fares such as this is the tendency to dip into hyperbole as already some are chanting that this is the movie to revolutionize Nollywood.

Maybe technically. But then, it isn’t the first movie to use celluloid, Kelani, Amata, Afolayan have dallied with it. So there is bad news: this is not it.

At best it is a false dawn. Certainly Nollywood can do worse than learn a novel narrative device, some technique, fancy camera handling and its present equipment could do with some updating, still there is not too much to learn in terms of story and plot devices. Why? Well, because a lot of the usual Nollywood suspects are here.

Firstly, like everything in the movie, the song(s) are polished till shine but again it is style over substance as the movie is guilty of turning the soundtrack into little more than the script with some melody. This lyrical over-simplification ruins what is a fine musical production. There is however a delightful use of a Fela song.

Secondly, incredulity: without giving too much away, it is hard to believe that highbrows like the couple would err in not seeking medical help after the events in the pivotal scene. And it becomes silly when Lola takes a decision that would irk all but the most unreasonable of feminists.

Again, the supporting characters are not developed enough to stand up to the leads except for Joke Silva (as Lola’s mother) who overacts initially but manages to settle down to deliver a subtle performance in later scenes; her husband (played by Ahmed Yerima) steals the only scene he had space after catapulting himself into an inappropriate, illogical but strangely winning dance- from where the movie forcibly derives its title. Even in the face of all that is wrong, much like the daughter, the audience might just smile.

Then, in aiming for Hollywood, Balogun decides to rake up issues that are not particularly contentious in Nigeria: the abortion (“It’s my body”, says Lola), adoption debate is not one to provoke passionate argument here- most people know where they stand on these issues and it is highly unlikely that this movie would cause a reassessment. Whatever it is, it is not a movie to stir a debate. Most likely, the audience would leave the cinema same way they came; the issues so couched in the attractive 35mm wrapper that the said issues wouldn’t even come up on the drive home. And if while in the cinema, you feel somewhat alienated from the couple’s plight, don’t blame yourself, the people here are too well-spoken, too rich, too airbrushed and too silly to be everyday people.

Perhaps as overcompensation for the Americanization of the issues, director Balogun renders a stereotypical Nigerian view of a successful career woman: Uzor’s boss (competently portrayed by Tina Mba) is a twice divorcee who speaks longingly about love and companionship, while clearly after forbidden sex. It may seem pro-feminist to have a female supporting character going after what she wants strongly, but it really is veiled chauvinism.

Finally, there is an unmistakable flaw that fingers the movie as standard Nollywood fare. But first, some praise.

The script has some clever dialogue, even when it feels intended for stage rather than screen and the screenplay squeezes in a double entendre. There is also a remarkable scene where Uzor washes his hands, ostensibly as a postprandial ritual but the accompanying dialogue tells of a deeper implication.

That flaw referred to earlier, is its preachiness, that feature of lazy scriptwriting that makes employs God as a deus ex machina and has seen dozens of Nollywood movies end in a church. In latter scenes in Tango, every bit character contributes their bit, nearly turning the movie into a near two hour sermon, the type where the congregation has to stifle a yawn out of politeness; thankfully the cinema hall does not thrive on political correctness. It gets to a head when a lecherous character mouths her brand of holiness because it is okay to be Mouth Zion Film Ministries, but when one pays for a ticket to a movie directed by a director with a name as ambiguous Mahmoud Balogun, chances are, one expects an artistic experience rather than a homily; not that they are mutually exclusive but historically both seldom jell.

So the film’s fairytale denouement and its need to put in a Message sees it bogged down in Nollywood mire. In fact, when the end credits roll and you see to whom the movie is dedicated, you may sigh and say: “No wonder.”

Oris Aigbokhaevbolo

Asokoro, Abuja.

Tango With Me (Movie Review)

Tango With Me, a movie produced and directed by Mahmood Ali Balogun is a movie with a purpose. One bound to elicit several responses- anger, pity, pain, despair and frustration. Tango With Me is a familiar NollyWood story told in an unfamiliar way. It tells of a couple, Lola (Genevieve Nnaji) and Uzo (Joseph Benjamin) who begin to face the challenges of marriage on their wedding day.  Mahmood Balogun is a master of his craft, he holds the audience by the jugular with suspense and when it feels like we know what’s going on, he goes in for the kill.

Tango With Me was shot with the latest Kodak 35mm camera and production cost over 50 million naira to make. Balogun in an effort to push boundaries travelled to Bulgaria to master film technology. He was determined to do the unconventional by opting for the film against the digital cameras common in NollyWood.  Tango With Me boasts of a robust cast: Genevieve Nnaji, Joseph Benjamin, Joke Silva, Bimbo Akintola, Bimbo Manuel, Ahmed Yerima, Babara Soky, Alex Usifo, Kate Henshaw-Nuttal, and Tina Mba. 

The movie begins with the couple, Genevieve Nnaji (Lola) and Joseph Benjamin (Uzo) in a marriage counselor’s office. Make no mistake; this is not Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Uzo and Lola are not Russian Spies.  They have real problems. They seem rather nervous and noncommittal at first about their marital issues as they seat in front of the counselor.  The marriage counselor played by Bimbo Manuel (who by the way remains faceless throughout the movie) tries to calm them down. What would bring a newly wedded couple to a marriage counselor after just three months into their marriage? Something ugly happened on the night of the wedding that might prove to destroy the marriage forever. The counselor is curious and the drama begins to unfold.

We are then thrust into a series of flash backs which take us slowly towards the Night of the wedding. Balogun takes us first to a “sorority” meeting where Lola’s upcoming wedding is the topic of discussion. Lola’s friends are happy for her. Lola is about to take the plunge and they want to know how she feels. Marriage is every girls dream come true and they all seem elated. Lola is quizzed about her three-year non-physical relationship with Uzo. It is an open secret that Lola and Uzo did not have sex before marriage. They want to know how she achieved the feat. Lola attributes the victory in the celibacy “battle” to God. She admits it was not easy. One of her friends isn’t taken this lying down; she chides Lola for not testing the “merchandise”. “What if he is not a real man”, another of Lola’s friend asks. Lola is quick to come to the defense of her husband to be. She says he is no virgin but certainly capable. One question that begged to be answered in this scene was how did Lola know this?  It may have been what Uzo told her but the movie should have told us whether the couple had foreplay and to what extent.  Was it a strict celibate relationship or were “other things” involved. Tango With Me is a psychological drama which portrays deep Christian values and beliefs; and subjects such as celibacy and foreplay which are issues people face every day should not have been glossed over. Something should have been said in this regard whether or not it enhanced the plot.

Back in the Counselors office, the couple has agreed to opt for private sessions. Uzo and Lola decide they can’t have the session together. Visiting a marriage counselor was Lola’s idea in the first place and Uzo is not happy about it. He believes couples should solve their own problem.

Lola starts to tell us what happened on the Wedding Night. The Hotel room looks perfect. The three year wait had ended. Uzo comes on to her and makes the first move. Lola seems understandably jittery and reluctant to get into the action. She asks Uzo to allow her have a bath first. She is unsure whether or not she would be good enough for him and prays silently in the bathroom that she is not disappointing. She had always wanted the moment to be perfect. Lola, a virgin wants this night to be perfect and to feel everything she has been told she is supposed to feel.

What Lola felt that night was far from pleasure, and Uzo’s vows were called into question very early in the journey. He fails in his manly duties and his action or non-action has set us on a roller coaster. There is silence in the cinema hall. We like Uzo are all angry and helpless to save the situation and the next scene takes us back into the counselor’s office-we are glad!

One oversight after the hotel room incident is the perceived ignorance of the couple. Marriage may have its problems and nothing prepares us for what life throws but common sense suggests that the first place Uzo and Lola ought to seek immediate intervention should have been the emergency room and not with a shrink. They were obviously people of affluence and  ignorance was an inexcusable reason.  Perhaps it was easier to embrace denial because of the trauma of the hotel room or rather Mr. Balogun probably needed them to be “stupid” to keep his story alive. It didn’t matter, the audience was glued to their seats and their insatiable appetite gasped for more.

The fade-to-black mechanism used to transit from scene to scene becomes boring and a bit distracting. The story now continues chronologically from this point on and their marriage begins to show signs of collapse. Uzo and Lola hate each other and themselves. They see themselves as the enemy. Lola tries to seek the easier way out by attempting suicide. Luckily for us, Uzo is there to save the day.

Lola is at home after a day at work and turns on the TV and it’s the famous Nigerian Televangelist, Late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya who preaches on forgiveness. Mr. Balogun should be commended here. It is one thing to have an idea, it as another to see it carried out to detail and with perfection the way he did.  He could have gotten anybody on the chat box to preach the forgiveness message Tango With Me sought to preach, but he brought a face we all loved (still love) and admire. Also, getting Cyril Stober to read the news on NTA relevant to the events that occurred in the movie was a master stroke from the maestro himself. Nollywood has failed previously by playing VHS tapes when they need to pass messages on screen with TV’s or radio set. This was a major improvement in bringing realism to the screen. Also, the advertisement of Nigerian brands like Arik Air, MTN and HealthPlus (although it looked forced) is commendable. 

After Lola hears Pastor Bimbo, she is encouraged and finally begins to come around. She tells Uzo, they should “try again”. It seems a good idea but Uzo hasn’t forgotten his past failure so soon. The memory haunts him and he can’t rise to the occasion. “We don’t have to do anything, we can just hold each other”, Lola says in encouragement.

Lola continues to relay her frustrations to the counselor. Mr. Balogun has kept the identity of the counselor a secret and this is puzzling. Mr. Balogun’s choice of a “ghost” voice may be because he wants people to look to the invisible for help. The counselor may represent a sort of deity we all need to seek when in dire need of help or encouragement. This invisible being should be trusted with every secret and proffer solutions within the ones capabilities and still maintains anonymity. This pushes us to seek for help from a higher authority rather than with our selves. Uzo has done the exact opposite. He has stopped coming for his sessions and looks to himself and turns to liquor and his boss.

Miss Bankole (Tina Mba), Uzo’s boss has taken a liking to him. A two time divorcé follows her cougar instincts and senses the young man’s frailties and invites him to lunch.  The music of Fela: When trouble sleep yanger go wake am, wetin im dey find, palaver you dey find, palaver you go get ti o, is more instructive than entertaining as it plays melodiously in the background as Uzo and this Boss settle to eat in a restaurant. Miss Bankole looks comfortable. The role of the adulteress is played perfectly by Tina Mba.  Miss Bankole looks like she has done this before. She tells Uzo she likes him. They begin to get closer and friendlier. Uzo is no Joseph, he welcomes the challenge.

Core values on the Christian faith are called into question as the movie progresses. The attendant hypocrisy on social issues is brought to light.  Lola decides to move out of her matrimonial home in defiance to her husband’s instructions. Her insistence is silly and laughable as she chooses to hold on to her Christian belief over the sanctity of her home. More people seem to support Uzo here. Lola is on her own.

She goes back to her father’s house; her mother played by Joke Silver is happy to see her but hopes it’s a short stay. Her father Ahmed Yerima doesn’t want to have anything to do with the fiasco. He wants her back in her husband’s house without caring what went wrong.

“I warned you not to marry an Ibo man”, Lola’s father shouts.  This captures the realities of inter-tribal marriages in Nigeria. It didn’t matter whether Uzo was right or wrong, the fact that he was Ibo gave him no chance with Lola’s father. He complains about the astronomical cost of the wedding and insists he will have nothing to do with Uzo and Lola’s separation. But his mood changes later on and he chides his daughter about her impatience with her husband and begins to give her a lesson on patience and endurance using the Tango dance. Yerima holds his wife and uses the dance to explain marriage. The dance may have lightened the mood and given the movie a funny side but really, who decides to dance when his daughter’s three month old marriage is on the verge of collapse?

 Meanwhile Uzo has found comfort in the bosom of his boss. Lola doesn’t want to speak to him again. Lola’s mother is the most pragmatic here. She understands the situation and begins to compromise on her Christian beliefs. She implies every situation is different and that God would understand. Everybody is mad at Lola. Surprisingly here, her friends aren’t the nosy ones. They have decided Lola should open up to them in her own time. There is no “aproko” (especially as they are all unmarried) among them who is ready to cash in on Lola’s failure to keep her man by seducing Uzo like in most NollyWood movies.  It’s nice to see that people can actually have friends who are ready and willing to support them in difficult times. Nigerian women have been portrayed far too many times as usurpers, gold-diggers and a desperate lot who use sex as the only tool for persuasion.

Uzo has begun to grow a beard probably because the guilt and frustration is getting to him. The beard looks like his face was painted. The costume crew probably came late to set that day. Couldn’t they have waited for his beard to grow? Or rather shot the scene with his natural beards first before the shaved scenes. And did Uzo have to look unkempt because his wife left him? The Project Fame co-host who hit the screens first as a child actor in his role as a homeless child in Tales by Moonlight seemed a bit overwhelmed in his role as Uzo. Tango With Me is his first major film as a lead actor and his lack of experience was sometimes evident. He looked more comfortable in his usual TV roles in series like Tinsel, Wale Adenuga’s Super Story and Zeb Ejiro’s TV series Deadly Mission. He has also starred movies (howbeit in smaller roles) alongside Ramsey Noah, Iyama and Ejike Asiegbu in Cross Roads in 1993. However, his overall performance was brilliant.

The cast on Tango With Me was a mixture of the both the old and new generation. It was welcome to see veterans like Alex Usifo and Barbara Soky back on screen.  Joke Silver was faultless as usual. She brought in her wealth of experience as an actor and a mother in this role. She knew when to be firm and when to be supportive of her daughter. Genevieve related extremely well with Lola in this role. Perhaps events in her personal life as a young teen informed the choice as lead actress.   Ahmed Yerima was the surprise delight as his role as a father was characteristic and sublime.

Tango With Me is a must watch. It is a story of love, and forgiveness. A movie that is sure to provoke you emotionally and intellectually. It is a huge leap in the right direction for NollyWood. We can only hope that others movies follow suit.

©2011 Ewoigbokhan Otaigbe Itua

First Published in the Sun Newspaper of 19/06/2011

NTA: A Blank View

Sitting and gazing at the ashen screen of a dead television which might be a queer sight in cities like Lagos is a past time in Lokoja where the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA) is supreme. The onslaught of somniferous programmes hour after hour is enough to persuade anyone to switch off the TV and have plain, unobtrusive boredom instead, with some quiet on top.

 And what is politely called programmes are essentially Insurance and Claims, The Scale, The Environment, Environment Matters, Pension Matters, You And Your Reps, You And The Constitution, You And The Economy, Finance And Economy, Politics Today, Food Today, Food And Drugs Safety, Health Reports, Health Care For All, Health Line, News Line, Tuesday Live, Life, a handful of entertainment programmes (nothing that might amuse an intelligent adult), news, televangelism, and a myriad of sponsored broadcast.

   It is hard to define the NTA brand from its programming as it has neither the conservativeness of a sworn news station nor the liberal range of an entertainment station and it lacks the faculty or will to combine both gracefully. The NTA is one station that couldn’t be bothered about its image, nay, viewership. Regardless of the patronage, salaries are guaranteed month end, thanks to the generosity of government. While private stations strive to create equilibrium between maximising profit through commercials and retaining viewership, it does not have these to worry about. The NTA can afford to bungle up and still have viewership, thus, sponsorship. The impunity it enjoys is largely due to its size. With over a hundred stations, it reaches corners of the country beyond the fantasy of its competitors.

    The patronage is so overwhelming that it sells airtime in bulk, leaving programming, virtually, to the control of sponsors. More disturbing is the airing of programmes of regional consequence on the network service. There abound all year round festivals, convocations, church services, rallies, conventions, and other events to cheer up the Director of Marketing. It is a wonder that a public station should have such an appetite for commercials. It is its avarice that misled the station to air a certain ad that showcases the tourist attractions in South Africa, which in itself is not a bad idea. The gist of the story is that in promoting South Africa as the quintessence vacationland this ad has a supposed Nigerian declare South Africa the giant of Africa. This still would have been less grievous had it been on any other stations but the NTA, the national television network. Gratefully the offensive bit was subsequently edited and then the ad pulled out entirely.

   NTA switches from scheduled programmes to one or the other sponsored, live broadcast with a rudeness paralleled only by PHCN.  The local NTA stations, after the same manner, cut off at the climax of independently produced soaps, game shows, talk shows that liven the programming, so as to have ample time for commercials, even sometimes chopping the headlines of the news at 9 p.m.

   Of its newscast, any flaw in its content is in a way related to the station’s conflicting responsibilities. While it is superficially charged with the task of providing independent and impartial television broadcasting for general reception, it naturally seeks to promote the agenda of the government. Under the guise of proper information management, it defers or totally ignores news that might reveal the ineptitude of the government. Most times stories that have become news analysis on Aljazeera are breaking news on NTA. Even then the details are scanty and they are relayed in a tone that discards the conflict in parts of the northern parts of the country as mere scrape. So when it reports that normalcy has returned to Jos, it in fact means the situation has worsened, inadvertently propelling civilians to the battlefield. Apparently, understatement and exaggeration are on a scale equally distortion of fact. Nonetheless, the network news at nine is one of its star programmes- photogenic newscasters with adequate presentation skill- no amount of badmouthing can turn off its pensioner audience.

   Local contribution to programming though minimal, is worth a glance. The problem with this stratum is varied but marked generally with poor production. The unacquainted may still have difficulty distinguishing between local and network broadcast.  A clue to determining local production, without waiting for the closing credit, is the set. They are fixed in the myth that recording on location, beside flowering plants with breeze whooshing in the background, is exotic. One worrying feature in the case of NTA Lokoja broadcast especially is the selective phonology of its presenters. Words like market, disturb, return, second, and words ending with ‘ion’ are picked from the body of English vocabulary and pronounced properly, so to say, with emphasis on the final syllable of these words. Every other word in between these run along regional accents.

   With the exception of a few zonal network centres, just about everything of the local stations- the staff, the facilities, the output, is substandard. What appears to be autonomy to these stations is on closer look abandonment by the headquarters. Lack of supervision and abandonment. Alas, it is through the local stations that network programmes are seen; a bad eye distorts the whole view.

   It isn’t just for the lack of a place to rest the blame for the inadequacies of the organisation that it is going to be hung on the government- the ambiguous super-structure built to absorb all sorts of accusations- but the government is actually in the background of NTA’s failings. ‘The federal government-owned television network, the Nigeria Television Authority, (NTA) is arguably the largest of its type in Africa, but it is yet to have the operational freedom required to maximise its potentials.’ Though it is uncertain the level of independence the station enjoys, going by this extract from the editorial of The Guardian of Sunday, October 18 2009, it is safe to construe that the station needs to be weaned off the government so it can indeed be ‘the reach’ that it so frequently claims to be. And perhaps it has all the freedom that it needs and is only suffering from the indifference to duty that is the prevalent malady of most government offices in Nigeria.

 In any case persons without channels to surf through will have to stay tuned to the NTA or embrace the handy alternative of pressing the power button on the remote.

©2011 Ladi Opaluwa

   Lokoja Nigeria

THOR- A Novel Approach to Reviewing Movies

Perhaps a new way of assessing a movie is needed, let’s dismiss the strict appreciation of the cinema like it were a lab sample to be examined microscopically, let’s look at the big picture: the formation of a bond between two or more observers of the same piece of art. Friendship, reaffirmation of family, love even.

Naturally, this index would best fit the blockbuster movies not the slow absorbing nature of quality dramas- good luck getting a girl after taking her to see Blue Valentine (though it is said that Mr Obama took Michelle to Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing as first date movie. But then if you have POTUS in your future, ordinary rules don’t apply.)

It’s a novelty that occurred to me when I saw the big screen adaptation of Marvel’s Thor.

On a whim, I went to the cinema hoping to catch anything that would not require thinking. Seeing the much advertised Thor on the bill, I figured it was a remarkably positive force that brought that whim; this feeling was bolstered when I was handed a ticket for popcorn and drinks. Ha! I was on a roll. The movie was due in 30 minutes and I spent the time in the bookshop. 

Eventually, I got on a queue for the popcorn, behind me were two daintily dressed girls, in front a guy holding flyers who pushed one into my hand inviting me to a stage performance of Ola Rotimi’s Our Husband has Gone Mad Again. On a whim- I was on ‘whimming’ streak, no one could stop me- I urged him to invite the girls behind me. He hesitated, so I took a flyer and gave it to them myself, surprised they asked for the gate fee to which I replied: ‘free’. 

They might go, they mightn’t, that was beside the point. I cracked a joke about selling the free drinks then asked what movie they came to see. Thor, it was.

Between getting the freebie and getting a seat, I lost them. But as I sat in the cinema, someone tapped me and lo, it was one of them.

And so the movie began. It opens as the eponymous character hit by a truck as he appeared to drop from the skies, the truck contains Jane, Darcy and a Dr Erik (played by actress on a roll Natalie Portman, Kat Jennings and Stellan Skarsgard). Then there’s a flashback to help answer the question: how the deuce does a god fall from the sky?

Well, up there in not too pretty CGI planet Asgard, a young Thor and his brother are admonished by their father Odin (Anthony Hopkins) on what it takes to be king. While Thor (newcomer Chris Hemsworth) is belligerent, his brother Loki appears to be the brooding type; years later as Thor is about to be crowned, Asgard’s enemies, citizens of Jotunheim attempt to take back a source of power taken as spoils when Odin defeated them. The attempt is scuttled so is the coronation, Thor is angry and decides to fight apparently to instil fear into the enemies but really to give the CGI people avenue to show their skills. If the other worldly planets are somewhat dodgy, this first fight scene is awesome. Just as Thor and co are about to be overrun, Odin shows up. An argument ensues, Thor insults his father and is banished. He lands on Earth...and the audience catches up.

It is on earth that the blockbuster quality finally shows, the Asgard sequence while expository doesn’t do much for a comic book adaptation, it’s not like anyone came thinking they’d be seeing another The Dark Knight. For one, the cinematography in New Mexico-where Thor lands- is beautiful and light, and the dialogue/chemistry between the leads is remarkable especially against the backdrop of the Doctor’s grouchy disapproval. Plus there are easy jokes, Thor goes to a museum and demands a horse etc.

In the midst of all this, there’s a lesson to be learnt though I don’t know too many people who go to blockbuster movies aiming to come out better persons: Thor can only regain use of his fearsome hammer if he possesses the qualities that make him a better person...or is it better god? 

The story isn’t that straightforward, there’s a standard conspiracy in the tale, among other Hollywood methods: delay the inevitable kiss till the last possible moment, the hero dies until he doesn’t, the funny, near-horny assistant, the obligatory shirtless scene- which elicited gasps from, hopefully only, the females in the audience, a black man (Idris Elba) and an ending that leaves the door open for a sequel. Predictable? Yes, but sweet.

However, one gets the feeling that the final fight would have packed more power had it been against the traditional enemy of Asgard.

Still the movie works, especially if there’s a pack of popcorn in hand.

At the movie’s I’d be back ending, everyone appeared to be happy, so happy that the lady with the beautiful small teeth and winsome smile on the queue whose hand had softly tapped my shoulder during the movie gave me her number.

According to this novel approach, chances are, if I call her and she agrees to a date, I’d be right back to write a review comparing Kenneth Branagh’s Thor to Francis Ford Coppola’s The Godfather.

Ah! Just kidding.

©2011  Oris Aigbokhaevbolo

Asokoro, Abuja